Desperately Seeking Buhari

The fight against corruption in Nigeria took a new turn as the progenitor of the ‘war against corruption’, himself, was temporarily caught up in the desperate times  . . .

“Desperately Seeking Susan” is a 1985 American comedy-drama film directed by Susan Seidelman and starring Rosanna Arquette and Madonna. Set in New York, the plot involves the interaction between two women – a bored housewife and a bohemian drifter – linked by various announcements in the personal column of a newspaper. “Desperately Seeking Santa” is a television movie starring Laura Vandervoort and Nick Zano. It premiered on ABC Family on November 27, 2011 in their Countdown to 25 Days of Christmas programming block. Thank God Christmas is around the corner but there are still desperations everywhere as the yuletide season dawns.

Desperation is a state of despair, typically one that results in a rash or extreme behavior. Desperation is an act or attempt tried in despair or when everything else has failed; having little hope of success. These are desperate times and desperate attempts are permeating the political and security landscape of Nigeria. There are desperate attempts to save egos, reputations, popularity, family names (if possible) and desperate attempts to stave off allegations, gossips, press snippets or information, convictions by public opinion, court trials, DSS and EFCC invasions and detentions, if not prison.

There are indications of politicians, both governing and in opposition, past and present, committed to having a great need or desire to reveal something about others, especially by those that have been exposed and condemned by public opinion and many of them are groping in the dark looking to expose something or somebody and may be inclined to expose others, if not expose something else. There have been media reports of those already in the DSS and/or EFCC net threatening to expose other alleged partners in sharing the national cake. This is a case of abject desperation, not to be the fall guy, when there are many who must fall together with everybody else.

Desperate is a feeling, showing, or involving a hopeless sense that a situation is so bad as to be impossible to deal with: a desperate corruptible situation which appears orchestrated to seemingly envelope the Corruption War Index of President Muhammad Buhari, at least in the eyes of the Nigerian media and their content consumers desperate to explain why a few tangible things were done during the Jonathan administration, not with all the sharing of the national patrimony of Nigerians by a few Johnny Walkers in the corridors of the erstwhile political powerhouse.

Are the DSS and EFCC busybodies? The ever-active secret police and the once moribund economic crimes agency are very much active as politicians, elder statesmen and hangers on (serving and retired) are wont to collect various slices of the national cake, or is it largesse, in Naira and/or in foreign exchange? They prefer the cake in dollars and maybe Euros as defense/arms procurement funds meant for fighting jihadist insurgency are allegedly finding their ways into alleged accounts and private pockets of party stalwarts, media moguls (not printers’ devils) and democratic apparatchiks. Some say they did not get the cake or were not given; others say they got the cake but say it was not up to the brandished amount, or, yes he was the one that gave me, not him, etc.

Dasuki, Dokpesi & co arrested by EFCC

What a mess as revelations, scoops, snoops and investigations – which some say are one-sided are pervading the rotten clime in the 21st century Nigeria. The EFCC was created to fight economic and financial crimes. Is the agency actually fighting or warring the opposition as some politicians claim? Is the agency a Dr. Jekyll by day and Mr. Hyde by night? (A person with a two-sided personality, one side is good and the other is evil). The real Jekyll and Hyde is from a novella written by the Scottish author Robert Louis Stevenson, published in 1886, and depicts a man who can at once become nice and violent without warning.

The DSS does not have pretensions to niceties like the EFCC sometimes but they are both working overtime and the government is happy with their work. But these are desperate economic and financial times and both agencies are very busy. The fight against corruption took a new turn as the progenitor of the war against corruption, himself, was temporarily caught up in the desperate times, as desperate persons also caught up in the sharing of the national cake sought desperate measures to either stop the corruption fight or at least stall it for a breather; while they seek legal advice from the multitudes of gluttonous Senior Advocates of Nigeria and their “learned” minions.

From media reports, especially online platforms, (which is why Sen. Dino Melaye wants them regulated and clamped down), President Muhammadu Buhari had allegedly collected $300,000 and five armored SUVs from the Office of the National Security Adviser (ONSA) prompting the Presidency to state categorically that the president never collected any monetary compensation from the government of former President Goodluck Jonathan or any of its officials in the aftermath of the alleged Boko haram attack on him at Kaduna in 2014. According to Femi Adesina, the President’s SA on Media and Publicity, one armoured SUV and one `untreated’ SUV were sent to Buhari in the aftermath of the attack. The vehicles were in keeping with his entitlements as a former Nigerian Head of State.

Well, if you can’t stop the war against corruption, maybe you should try and stop the progenitor, or at least jolt him so he can pipe down because the DSS and EFCC are in hyperactive mode these days. I doubt whether any of them know the progenitor or his desperation to fight corruption. Desperately seeking Buhari appears not to have worked in the interim but knowing Nigerian politicians the way I do, they are not done yet – but who, or which people, or party are desperately seeking Buhari?

_____________________________________________________

MR

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